Mr. Chapin: You look pretty nervous. kid in detention: Yes, sir. Mr. Chapin: You're sweating like a pig. kid in detention: Yes, sir. Mr. Chapin: You're eyes are all... bloodshot. kid in detention: Yes, sir. Mr. Chapin: You've got pot, don't you? [the kid pulls out a bag] Mr. Chapin: I'm confiscati
Bianca: [after Kat has told her that she went out with Joey] How is it possible that I did not know about this? Kat Stratford: I warned him that if he told anyone, the cheerleading squad would find out how tiny his dick is
Patrick: Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl. Kat Stratford: Is that right? Patrick: Yeah, but I screwed up. I, um, I fell for he
Michael: The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.
Michael: [about Bianca] What's there is a snotty little princess wearing a strategically planned sundress to make guys like us realize we can never touch her, and guys like, uh, Joey realize they want to. She, my friend, is what we will spend the rest of our lives not having, Put her in your "Span
Cameron: Well, you don't know. She could, uh, she could need a day to cool off. [they all duck as a soccer ball flies past them] Patrick: Maybe tw
Kat Stratford: [to Patrick - after he asks her out for the first time] Do you even know my name screwboy?
Patrick: Not a big talker, huh? Kat Stratford: Depends on the topic. My fenders don't really whip me into a verbal frenzy
Cameron: Just 'cause you're beautiful, that doesn't mean that you can treat people like they don't matter.
[talking about the prom] Kat Stratford: Can you even imagine? Who the hell would go to that antiquated mating-ritual? Mandella: I would, but I don't have a date. Kat Stratford: Do you really wanna get all dressed up, so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter with a boner can feel you up while you're for
Kat Stratford: We're going now. Walter Stratford: Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, *no* ritual animal slaughters of any kind. Oh, God, I'm giving them ideas
Joey: Mr. Morgan, is there any chance we could get Kat to take her Midol *before* she comes to class? Mr. Morgan: Someday, you gonna get bitch-slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it
Bianca: Can't you just find some blind, deaf retard to take you to the movies so I can have one date? Kat Stratford: I'm sorry. Looks like you'll just have to miss out on the witty repartee of Joey "eat me" Donner
Ms. Perky: Patrick Verona. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual. Patrick: Only so we can have these moments together. Should I, uh, hit the lights? Ms. Perky: Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy. Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria? Patrick: I was joking with the lunch lady. It was
Patrick: And I didn't sleep with a Spice Girl... I think.
Cameron: You embarrassed the girl. Sacrifice yourself on the alter of dignity and even the score.
Cameron: I learned French for you!
Bianca: You're asking me out? That's so cute! What's your name again?
Mr. Morgan: [after reading Shakespearean sonnet] Now, I know Shakespeare's a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that. I want you all to write your own version of this sonnet. [Kat raises her hand in the background] Mr. Morgan: Yes, Miss "I Have An Opinion About Everything
Bianca: You suck! Kat Stratford: [Mocking Bianca] You suck
Kat Stratford: I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member. Ms. Perky: "Quivering member." I like that
Michael: I'm thinking of getting a Tercel. Yeah, that's a Toyota.
Patrick: Was that a yes? Kat Stratford: No. Patrick: Well, then, was that a no? Kat Stratford:
Walter Stratford: You're 18, you don't know what you want. And you won't know what you want 'til you're 45, and even if you get it, you'll be too old to use it.
Kat Stratford: Remove head from sphincter, then drive!
[when asked if he'll date Katarina] Wimpy Loser: Maybe if we were the last two people alive, and there were no sheep. Are there sheep
Kat Stratford: You're looking at this from entirely the wrong perspective. We're making a statement. Mandella: Oh goody, something new and different for us
Mr. Morgan: All right, not that I give a damn, but how was everybody's weekend? Joey: Oh, I dunno, maybe we should ask Kat? Mr. Morgan: Unless she kicked the crap outta your dumb butt, I don't wanna hear about i
Kat Stratford: [drunk. Leans in close to Patrick] Hey... your eyes have a little green in them. [Patrick smiles momentarily, then Kat vomits at his feet
Patrick: I was watching you out there, before. I've never seen you look so sexy.