Quotes by 100 Girls

100 Girls

Cynthia: [Matthew is plunging Cynthia's toilet] When you're done, I just need some help moving some furniture. [Matthew replies in Gibberish

100 Girls
Matthew: [Looking at Cynthia] How can a guy have a real conversation with a girl like this when we're made so helpless? In the animal kingdom, when two members of a pack stare at each other, it is a test of dominance. The first one to look away is considered the weaker. When this happens between a man and a woman, the cards are stacked against a man. 'Cause, let's face it, every time a guy meets a girl, he wants to check out her breasts. A man must summon all of his will not to look down at those golden orbs, whose wonderous tips are upturned, aimed right at his eyes. [after staring at each other for a long time, Matt finally gives in and looks down at Cynthia's breasts] Matthew: Once a man loses his test of nerves, a woman knows she has a great secret power over him, and she can get him do anything she wants. Like a sexual sorceress, Cynthia had several men under her spel
100 Girls

Rod: Man, take it easy, and if she's easy, take her twice.

100 Girls
Arlene: [after winning strip Fooze ball] Score! Now I wanna see my trophy.
100 Girls

Matthew: I had learned something from Rod's groinular fixation. His horror really was my horror too. It was *every* man's horror. Deny it we may, but we are all afraid of women. Every single one of them. Time had run out. Finals were in a week. Soon, everyone would be leaving the dorms. And next semester, some would relocate to off-campus housing. If I had any hope of finding my kismetic destiny, I had to face my greatest fear. I went to the Virgin Vault, and I declared my love in front of 100 girls. I explained everything I had done for my kismetic destiny. My speech must be my Sistine Chapel, my Ninth Symphony, my Citizen Kane. My words needed to be more inspirational than Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech. They had to be more miraculous than Mark McGuire's 70th home run. I used impressive words like "soul mate," "destiny," and "yearn." It takes a big man to yearn. I poured my heart out.

100 Girls
Rod: You're pathetic man. I mean you lose your virginity and you don't even get the girls name. Matthew: [pointing at the weight dangling between Rod's legs] What the hell is that? Rod: It's penile power man. I got it out of an ad in a magazine. I mean, it's going to help me increase my length and girth, all just by hanging weights from my cock, man. Check it out man. I'm up to five pound
100 Girls

Rod: [to Matthew] Do you have any suspects yet?

100 Girls
Matthew: Hi, I'm Matt, the new ward study maintenance man. I had a call about some rats.
100 Girls

Matthew: Isn't American cheese appropriately named? You know, it's fake and processed, just like America.

100 Girls
Dora, the Smart Girl: I know what's in store for me. No one will ever have passion for me. People all around me will be falling in love, and making love, and getting married and having kids. The closest thing I'll ever have to that is someone inviting me to their Christmas dinner because they feel guilty I might be spending the holiday alone. Or if I'm lucky, my male counterpart, an obese man or guy with a harelip, will invite me to coffee; and we'll pretend to love each other and tie the knot because we're so desperately afraid of growing old alone.