Patrick: Someone still has her panties in a twist. Kat Stratford: Don't, for one minute, think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties. Patrick: Then what did I have an effect on? Kat Stratford: Other than my upchuck reflex, nothi
Walter Stratford: And I'll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren't out being impregnated.
Mr. Morgan: I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those years of upper middle-class suburban oppression. Must be tough. But the next time you storm the PTA crusading for better... lunch meat, or whatever it is you white girls complain about, ask them WHY they can't buy a book wri
Kat Stratford: [talking to Mr. Chapin in detention] Well, now that you've seen "the plan", I'm gonna go and show "the plan" to someone else.
Kat Stratford: Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.
Michael: The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.
Michael: I'm thinking of getting a Tercel. Yeah, that's a Toyota.
Michael: Alright. Uh, I talked to her; I got the scoop. Cameron: What'd she say? Michael: "Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." That's a direct quote. Patrick: Thanks Michael. That's very comforting of y
Bianca: People expect me to be there! Walter Stratford: Kat's not going, you're not going! Bianca: Why can't you be normal? Kat Stratford: Define normal. Bianca: Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal. Walter Stratford: What's a Bogey Lowenstein? Kat Stratford: Bogey's party is just a lame excuse for
Ms. Perky: So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Morgan's class... again. Kat Stratford: Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action. Ms. Perky: The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested. Kat Stra
[talking about the prom] Kat Stratford: Can you even imagine? Who the hell would go to that antiquated mating-ritual? Mandella: I would, but I don't have a date. Kat Stratford: Do you really wanna get all dressed up, so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter with a boner can feel you up while you're for
Michael: These delusionals are your White Rastas. Uh, they're big Marley fans, they think they're black, semi-political, but mostly... Cameron: Smoke a lot of weed
Joey: Are you lost? Michael: No, actually I just came by to chat. Joey: We don't cha
Bianca: Where did you come from? Planet "Loser"? Kat Stratford: As opposed to Planet "Look At Me, Look At Me"
Cameron: We are screwed. Michael: Hey, no, hey. I don't wanna hear that defeatist attitude... I wanna hear you upbeat! Cameron: [more upbeat] We are screwed! Michael: There ya
Ms. Perky: [writing her novel] Undulating with desire, Adrian removes her red... [breaks concentration, chooses another word] Ms. Perky: crimson cape, at the site of Reginal's stiff and... Judith! What's another word for "engorged"? Judith: [disgusted] I'll look it up. Ms. Perky: Okay. [thinking o
Patrick: I thought you wanted out. Cameron: Yeah, well, I did, but, uh... that was until she kissed me. Patrick: Where? Cameron: In the c
Mr. Morgan: [after reading Shakespearean sonnet] Now, I know Shakespeare's a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that. I want you all to write your own version of this sonnet. [Kat raises her hand in the background] Mr. Morgan: Yes, Miss "I Have An Opinion About Everything
[last lines] Kat Stratford: You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know? Patrick: Yeah, I know. But then, you know, there's always drums, and bass, and maybe even one day a tambourin
Ms. Perky: Patrick Verona. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual. Patrick: Only so we can have these moments together. Should I, uh, hit the lights? Ms. Perky: Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy. Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria? Patrick: I was joking with the lunch lady. It was
Patrick: It's not everyday you find a girl who'll flash someone to get you out of detention.
Patrick: Leave it to you to use big words when you're smashed.
Bianca: Has the fact that you're completely psycho managed to escape your attention?
Patrick: So what's your excuse? Kat Stratford: For? Patrick: Acting the way we do. Kat Stratford: I don't like to do what people expect.Why should I live up to other people's expectations instead of my own? Patrick: So you disappoint them from the start and then you're covered, right? Kat Stratfor
Patrick: Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl. Kat Stratford: Is that right? Patrick: Yeah, but I screwed up. I, um, I fell for he
Patrick: Ooh, see that, there. Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?
Kat Stratford: [to Patrick - after he asks her out for the first time] Do you even know my name screwboy?
Walter Stratford: You know fathers don't like to admit it when their daughters are capable of running their own lives. It means we've become spectators. Bianca still let's me play a few innings - you've had me on the bench for years. When you go to Sarah Lawrence, I won't even be able to watch the
Cameron: She never wanted me. She wanted Joey the whole time. Patrick: Cameron, do you like the girl? Cameron: Yeah. Patrick: Yeah, and is she worth all this trouble? Cameron: Well, I thought she was, but you know, I... Patrick: Well, she is or she isn't. See first of all, Joey is not half the man
Patrick: What is it with this chick, she have beer flavored nipples? Cameron: Hey