Mr. Morgan: [after reading Shakespearean sonnet] Now, I know Shakespeare's a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that. I want you all to write your own version of this sonnet. [Kat raises her hand in the background] Mr. Morgan: Yes, Miss "I Have An Opinion About Everything
Cameron: Wow, is this what a bar looks like? [reaches into a jar] Michael: Don't touch anything! You may get hepatitis. [they find Patrick drinking and smoking] Patrick: So what have ya got for me? Cameron: A little insight into a very complicated girl. Michael: Excuse me, uh, just one question be
[after purposefully crashing into a car] Kat Stratford: Whoops
Cameron: We are screwed. Michael: Hey, no, hey. I don't wanna hear that defeatist attitude... I wanna hear you upbeat! Cameron: [more upbeat] We are screwed! Michael: There ya
Patrick: Someone still has her panties in a twist. Kat Stratford: Don't, for one minute, think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties. Patrick: Then what did I have an effect on? Kat Stratford: Other than my upchuck reflex, nothi
Walter Stratford: Do you know what happens at proms? Bianca: Yes. We'll dance, we'll kiss, we'll come home. It's not quite the crisis situation you imagine. Walter Stratford: Kissing? That's what you think happens? I've got news for you. Kissing isn't what keeps me up to my elbows in placenta all
[both speaking french] Cameron: May I offer you a parsnip? Bianca: No, you may not. Cameron: Where is my uncle's pencil? Bianca: I don't know. Maybe it is up your
Kat Stratford: I guess in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.
Patrick: Hey there girly. How you doin'? Kat Stratford: Sweating like a pig actually and yourself? Patrick: Now there's a way to get a guy's attention huh? Kat Stratford: My mission in life. But, obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked. The world makes sense aga
Kat Stratford: You're looking at this from entirely the wrong perspective. We're making a statement. Mandella: Oh goody, something new and different for us
Mandella: Have you seen him? Kat Stratford: Who? Mandella: William. He asked me to meet him here. Kat Stratford: Oh Mandella, please tell me you haven't progressed to full-on hallucinatio
Patrick: So what's your excuse? Kat Stratford: For? Patrick: Acting the way we do. Kat Stratford: I don't like to do what people expect.Why should I live up to other people's expectations instead of my own? Patrick: So you disappoint them from the start and then you're covered, right? Kat Stratfor
Walter Stratford: This morning, I delivered a set of twins to a fifteen-year-old girl, do you know what she said to me? Bianca: "I'm a crack-whore who should have made my skeazy boyfriend wear a condom"? Walter Stratford: Close, but no. She said, "I should have listened to my father". Bianca: She
Kat Stratford: [to Patrick - after he asks her out for the first time] Do you even know my name screwboy?
Kat Stratford: I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're alw
Michael: The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.
Chastity: I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed? Bianca: I think you can in Europe
[Two guys are fighting in his house, making a mess] Bogey Lowenstien: You guys, please! Take it outside! [They smash through a window] Bogey Lowenstien: Thank y
[Patrick is refusing to help Cameron go out with Bianca] Patrick: Joey can plough whatever he wants. Cameron: [angrily] Hey! There will be no ploughin
Patrick: Was that a yes? Kat Stratford: No. Patrick: Well, then, was that a no? Kat Stratford:
Kat Stratford: Oh wait... was that... did your hairline just recede?
Cameron: Just 'cause you're beautiful, that doesn't mean that you can treat people like they don't matter.
Michael: These delusionals are your White Rastas. Uh, they're big Marley fans, they think they're black, semi-political, but mostly... Cameron: Smoke a lot of weed
Joey: [holding up headshots] Which one do you like better? Bianca: Umm, I think I like the white shirt better. Joey: Yeah, it's-it's more... Bianca: Pensive? Joey: Damn, I was going for thought
Patrick: I thought for sure I was busted when I was climbing out that window, I tell you. So, how did you keep him distracted? Kat Stratford: I dazzled him with my... wits
[last lines] Kat Stratford: You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know? Patrick: Yeah, I know. But then, you know, there's always drums, and bass, and maybe even one day a tambourin
Kat Stratford: You're not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke. Patrick: I know, I quit. Apparently they're bad for you. Kat Stratford: You thin
Patrick: What is it with this chick, she have beer flavored nipples? Cameron: Hey
Bianca: You suck! Kat Stratford: [Mocking Bianca] You suck
Kat Stratford: I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member. Ms. Perky: "Quivering member." I like that