Michael: The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.
Kat Stratford: I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're alw
Patrick: What is it with this chick, she have beer flavored nipples? Cameron: Hey
Patrick: You're gunna pay me to take out some chick? Joey: Mmhm. Patrick: How much? Joey: 20 bucks. Joey: ...fine 30. Patrick: Well, let's think about this... we go to the movies, that's 15 bucks. We get popcorn, that's 53. And she'll want raisonettes, alright? So, we're looking at 75 bucks. Joey:
Kat Stratford: You don't always have to be who they want you to be, you know? Bianca: I happen to like being adored, thank you
Bianca: Can't you just find some blind, deaf retard to take you to the movies so I can have one date? Kat Stratford: I'm sorry. Looks like you'll just have to miss out on the witty repartee of Joey "eat me" Donner
Walter Stratford: [Bianca and Chastity are sneaking past Bianca's father] Shoulda used the window! Bianca: Hi Daddy! Walter Stratford: Hi... where're we going? Bianca: Well, if you must know... a small study group of friends. Walter Stratford: Otherwise known as an orgy? Chastity: Mr. Stratford, i
Patrick: I was watching you out there, before. I've never seen you look so sexy.
Kat Stratford: I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member. Ms. Perky: "Quivering member." I like that
Patrick: Not a big talker, huh? Kat Stratford: Depends on the topic. My fenders don't really whip me into a verbal frenzy
[after Joey punches Cameron, Bianca punches Joey in the face] Joey: Shit, Bianca, I'm shooting a nose spray ad tomorrow! Bianca: That's for making my date bleed! [punches him again] Bianca: That's for my sister! [knees him in the crotch] Bianca: And that's f
Walter Stratford: You're 18, you don't know what you want. And you won't know what you want 'til you're 45, and even if you get it, you'll be too old to use it.
Bianca: But she's a mutant! What if she never dates? Walter Stratford: Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that
Patrick: See, first of all, Joey is not half the man you are. Secondly, don't let anyone, ever, make you feel like you don't deserve what you want. Go for it!
Kat Stratford: Tell me something true. Patrick: Something true... I hate peas. Kat Stratford: No, something real, something no one else knows. Patrick: Okay, you're sweet, and sexy, and completely hot for
Bianca: There's a difference between like and love. Because, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack. Chastity: But I love my Skechers. Bianca: That's because you don't have a Prada backpac
Walter Stratford: And I'll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren't out being impregnated.
Joey: Your sister here? Kat Stratford: Stay away from my sister. Joey: Oh, I'll stay away from your sister, but I can't guarantee she'll stay away from m
Michael: I'm thinking of getting a Tercel. Yeah, that's a Toyota.
Mandella: Have you seen him? Kat Stratford: Who? Mandella: William. He asked me to meet him here. Kat Stratford: Oh Mandella, please tell me you haven't progressed to full-on hallucinatio
Walter Stratford: My insurance does not cover PMS! Kat Stratford: Well then, tell them I had a seizure
Michael: Sweet love, renew thy force. [Start of Shakespeare's Sonnet LVI] Patrick: Hey! Don't say shit like that to me. People can hear yo
Chastity: I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed? Bianca: I think you can in Europe
Patrick: I thought for sure I was busted when I was climbing out that window, I tell you. So, how did you keep him distracted? Kat Stratford: I dazzled him with my... wits
Ms. Perky: Patrick Verona. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual. Patrick: Only so we can have these moments together. Should I, uh, hit the lights? Ms. Perky: Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy. Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria? Patrick: I was joking with the lunch lady. It was
Walter Stratford: I know who you wanna bend the rules for. It's that hot-rod Joey. Bianca: What's a hot-rod
Joey: [holding up headshots] Which one do you like better? Bianca: Umm, I think I like the white shirt better. Joey: Yeah, it's-it's more... Bianca: Pensive? Joey: Damn, I was going for thought
Michael: [about Bianca] What's there is a snotty little princess wearing a strategically planned sundress to make guys like us realize we can never touch her, and guys like, uh, Joey realize they want to. She, my friend, is what we will spend the rest of our lives not having, Put her in your "Span
[Patrick is refusing to help Cameron go out with Bianca] Patrick: Joey can plough whatever he wants. Cameron: [angrily] Hey! There will be no ploughin
Kat Stratford: Remove head from sphincter, then drive!