Walter Stratford: My insurance does not cover PMS! Kat Stratford: Well then, tell them I had a seizure
Bogey Lowenstien: [the doorbell rings] That must be Nigel with the brie.
Bianca: [after Kat has told her that she went out with Joey] How is it possible that I did not know about this? Kat Stratford: I warned him that if he told anyone, the cheerleading squad would find out how tiny his dick is
[after Joey punches Cameron, Bianca punches Joey in the face] Joey: Shit, Bianca, I'm shooting a nose spray ad tomorrow! Bianca: That's for making my date bleed! [punches him again] Bianca: That's for my sister! [knees him in the crotch] Bianca: And that's f
Cameron: Just 'cause you're beautiful, that doesn't mean that you can treat people like they don't matter.
Kat Stratford: [drunk. Leans in close to Patrick] Hey... your eyes have a little green in them. [Patrick smiles momentarily, then Kat vomits at his feet
Walter Stratford: Do you know what happens at proms? Bianca: Yes. We'll dance, we'll kiss, we'll come home. It's not quite the crisis situation you imagine. Walter Stratford: Kissing? That's what you think happens? I've got news for you. Kissing isn't what keeps me up to my elbows in placenta all
Patrick: Hey there girly. How you doin'? Kat Stratford: Sweating like a pig actually and yourself? Patrick: Now there's a way to get a guy's attention huh? Kat Stratford: My mission in life. But, obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked. The world makes sense aga
Michael: I'm thinking of getting a Tercel. Yeah, that's a Toyota.
Cameron: I burn, I pine, I perish. [Lucentio's line from The Taming of the Shrew Act I Scene 1] Michael: Of course you do. You know, she's beautiful and deep, I'm sur
Kat Stratford: [talking to Mr. Chapin in detention] Well, now that you've seen "the plan", I'm gonna go and show "the plan" to someone else.
[Patrick is refusing to help Cameron go out with Bianca] Patrick: Joey can plough whatever he wants. Cameron: [angrily] Hey! There will be no ploughin
Walter Stratford: Where's your sister going? Kat Stratford: She's meeting some bikers. Big ones. Full of sperm. Walter Stratford: Funn
Bianca: But she's a mutant! What if she never dates? Walter Stratford: Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that
Patrick: Not a big talker, huh? Kat Stratford: Depends on the topic. My fenders don't really whip me into a verbal frenzy
Mr. Morgan: All right, not that I give a damn, but how was everybody's weekend? Joey: Oh, I dunno, maybe we should ask Kat? Mr. Morgan: Unless she kicked the crap outta your dumb butt, I don't wanna hear about i
Bianca: People expect me to be there! Walter Stratford: Kat's not going, you're not going! Bianca: Why can't you be normal? Kat Stratford: Define normal. Bianca: Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal. Walter Stratford: What's a Bogey Lowenstein? Kat Stratford: Bogey's party is just a lame excuse for
Walter Stratford: [Bianca and Chastity are sneaking past Bianca's father] Shoulda used the window! Bianca: Hi Daddy! Walter Stratford: Hi... where're we going? Bianca: Well, if you must know... a small study group of friends. Walter Stratford: Otherwise known as an orgy? Chastity: Mr. Stratford, i
Patrick: Leave it to you to use big words when you're smashed.
Michael: Alright. Uh, I talked to her; I got the scoop. Cameron: What'd she say? Michael: "Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." That's a direct quote. Patrick: Thanks Michael. That's very comforting of y
Walter Stratford: This morning, I delivered a set of twins to a fifteen-year-old girl, do you know what she said to me? Bianca: "I'm a crack-whore who should have made my skeazy boyfriend wear a condom"? Walter Stratford: Close, but no. She said, "I should have listened to my father". Bianca: She
Michael: Sweet love, renew thy force. [Start of Shakespeare's Sonnet LVI] Patrick: Hey! Don't say shit like that to me. People can hear yo
Kat Stratford: You are amazingly self-assured, has anyone ever told you that? Patrick: I tell myself that every day, actually
Kat Stratford: I guess in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.
Walter Stratford: You know fathers don't like to admit it when their daughters are capable of running their own lives. It means we've become spectators. Bianca still let's me play a few innings - you've had me on the bench for years. When you go to Sarah Lawrence, I won't even be able to watch the
Joey: [to Patrick after Kat backs into his car when he won't move it out her way] Watching that bitch violate my car doesn't count as a date.
[both speaking french] Cameron: May I offer you a parsnip? Bianca: No, you may not. Cameron: Where is my uncle's pencil? Bianca: I don't know. Maybe it is up your
Cameron: You embarrassed the girl. Sacrifice yourself on the alter of dignity and even the score.
Bianca: Can't you just find some blind, deaf retard to take you to the movies so I can have one date? Kat Stratford: I'm sorry. Looks like you'll just have to miss out on the witty repartee of Joey "eat me" Donner
Bianca: You suck! Kat Stratford: [Mocking Bianca] You suck