[after purposefully crashing into a car] Kat Stratford: Whoops
Joey: Mr. Morgan, is there any chance we could get Kat to take her Midol *before* she comes to class? Mr. Morgan: Someday, you gonna get bitch-slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it
Cameron: I burn, I pine, I perish. [Lucentio's line from The Taming of the Shrew Act I Scene 1] Michael: Of course you do. You know, she's beautiful and deep, I'm sur
Kat Stratford: I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member. Ms. Perky: "Quivering member." I like that
Walter Stratford: My insurance does not cover PMS! Kat Stratford: Well then, tell them I had a seizure
Chastity: I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed? Bianca: I think you can in Europe
Walter Stratford: What are the two house rules? Number One: No dating till you graduate. Number Two: No dating till you graduate.
Bogey Lowenstien: [the doorbell rings] That must be Nigel with the brie.
Cameron: I learned French for you!
Kat Stratford: We're going now. Walter Stratford: Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, *no* ritual animal slaughters of any kind. Oh, God, I'm giving them ideas
Patrick: Leave it to you to use big words when you're smashed.
Cameron: And I'm BACK IN THE GAME!
Mr. Morgan: I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those years of upper middle-class suburban oppression. Must be tough. But the next time you storm the PTA crusading for better... lunch meat, or whatever it is you white girls complain about, ask them WHY they can't buy a book wri
Walter Stratford: Where's your sister going? Kat Stratford: She's meeting some bikers. Big ones. Full of sperm. Walter Stratford: Funn
Bianca: You're asking me out? That's so cute! What's your name again?
Mr. Morgan: [after reading Shakespearean sonnet] Now, I know Shakespeare's a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that. I want you all to write your own version of this sonnet. [Kat raises her hand in the background] Mr. Morgan: Yes, Miss "I Have An Opinion About Everything
Bianca: You suck! Kat Stratford: [Mocking Bianca] You suck
Michael: I'm thinking of getting a Tercel. Yeah, that's a Toyota.
Bianca: Can't you just find some blind, deaf retard to take you to the movies so I can have one date? Kat Stratford: I'm sorry. Looks like you'll just have to miss out on the witty repartee of Joey "eat me" Donner
Patrick: Someone still has her panties in a twist. Kat Stratford: Don't, for one minute, think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties. Patrick: Then what did I have an effect on? Kat Stratford: Other than my upchuck reflex, nothi
Kat Stratford: What is it, Asshole Day?
Walter Stratford: I know who you wanna bend the rules for. It's that hot-rod Joey. Bianca: What's a hot-rod
Walter Stratford: And I'll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren't out being impregnated.
Patrick: So what's your excuse? Kat Stratford: For? Patrick: Acting the way we do. Kat Stratford: I don't like to do what people expect.Why should I live up to other people's expectations instead of my own? Patrick: So you disappoint them from the start and then you're covered, right? Kat Stratfor
Patrick: Ooh, see that, there. Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?
[talking about the prom] Kat Stratford: Can you even imagine? Who the hell would go to that antiquated mating-ritual? Mandella: I would, but I don't have a date. Kat Stratford: Do you really wanna get all dressed up, so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter with a boner can feel you up while you're for
Bianca: But she's a mutant! What if she never dates? Walter Stratford: Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that
Mandella: Have you seen him? Kat Stratford: Who? Mandella: William. He asked me to meet him here. Kat Stratford: Oh Mandella, please tell me you haven't progressed to full-on hallucinatio
Ms. Perky: Nine schools in ten years. My, my. Army brat? Cameron: Yeah, my-my dad is, uh... Ms. Perky: That's enough. I'm sure you won't find Padua any different than your old schools. Same little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere. Cameron: Excuse me? D-Did you just say... Am I in the right offic
Bianca: You don't buy black lingerie unless you want someone to see it.