Top 10 Quotes by 100 Girls

100 Girls

Patty: There's a certain way a man stares at a woman he loves. The man looks like a boy on his birthday. And he treats the woman as if she were a gift that he's waited so long to open and now he can't wait to see what the treasure is inside.

100 Girls
[first lines] Matthew: One hundred girls. And one of them is my true love, my forever soul mate, the Betty to my Barney, my kismetic destiny. The problem is I don't know who she is
100 Girls

Rod: So what are you gonna do about this girl, huh? Matthew: You know what, she left these [handing Rod a pair of panties] Rod: Let me see them. [sniffs] Rod: I don't recognize this one. Matthew: Hey, give them

100 Girls
Matthew: Hi, I'm Matt, the new ward study maintenance man. I had a call about some rats.
100 Girls

Matthew: It was if I was a perverted Prince Charming. Instead of possessing Cinderella's glass slippers, I had her panties.

100 Girls
Cynthia: [Matthew is plunging Cynthia's toilet] When you're done, I just need some help moving some furniture. [Matthew replies in Gibberish
100 Girls

Matthew: Isn't American cheese appropriately named? You know, it's fake and processed, just like America.

100 Girls
Matthew: Men have this anti-intimacy force field around them. It is powered by sarcasm, humor, and aversion.
100 Girls

Rod: You're pathetic man. I mean you lose your virginity and you don't even get the girls name. Matthew: [pointing at the weight dangling between Rod's legs] What the hell is that? Rod: It's penile power man. I got it out of an ad in a magazine. I mean, it's going to help me increase my length and girth, all just by hanging weights from my cock, man. Check it out man. I'm up to five pound

100 Girls
Matthew: Without you, I'm as lonely as an abandoned dog on the side of a highway. I have gift anxiety, even through I don't know when your birthday is. We can spend perfect days shopping and cooking together. I swear, I'll never make wisecracks when you scrape your tires against the curb while parallel parking. If you consent to live with me, I'll clean the toilet every week. I'll do it with my tongue if you ask. I will strike the words "hooters" and "love rockets" from my vocabulary. I'll love you. Even if your name is Mimi and you want me to pronounce it "May May". I will only pass gas underneath the covers and only under the direst of circumstances. Hell, I'll go on a low cholesterol diet. And I won't buy one of those red sports cars when I hit my mid-life crisis. Your parents can come visit us every week, even if your mom is a big witch with a capital B. And your folks don't have to go to a retirement home because they can come live with us. I declare, I'll separate the whites from the colors, I'll learn the mysteries of hot and cold water washes. I'll never huff and puff while waiting for you to put on your makeup. If you're a cat person, I'll never point out the fact that a dog can save your life from drowning, but a cat can't. I will happily go see chick flicks with you, like "Pride and Prejudice". I'll make a point to trying new food like okra gumbo. I won't curl my nose at vegetables whose awful taste is disguised by having cheese on it. I pledge to always say "yes" when you ask, "Is my hair looking okay tonight?" I'm gonna bring a whole new meaning to the word "cuddle". I'll be thoughtful enough to read your horoscope every day. I'm gonna save every birthday card you send me! And I'll actually write you real letters when we're apart. I'm never gonna expect you to know where I left my car keys, and I'll never leave my socks on the floor. With me, you'll find the cap is always on the toothpaste. I'll start wearing those male bikini style underwear if you like. My belly button will always be lint free. I want to full-on kiss your clitoris. It will be the most passionate, intimate experience you've ever had. I declare now, I will give my life for you. And if you fail to come to me, I know some part of me will surely die.