The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
Some people worry because they are in debt; others, because they can't even get in.
The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
Hindsight is good, foresight is better; but second sight is best of all.
Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
Las Vegas is a resort whose two chief sources of income are seven and eleven.
A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why.
There is nothing more dignified than a corpse.
You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.
If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.
The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.
The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.
Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it.
There's nothing as short as short-term debt.
Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.
Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name. Evan
A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.
Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it.
Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
Age brings wisdom to some men, and to others chess.