An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one. George Mike
In England only uneducated people show off their knowledge; nobody quotes Latin or Greek authors in the course of conversation, unless he has never read them.
On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. George M
Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.
You can keep a dog: but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.
Continental people have sex-lives; the English have hot-water bottles
An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.
English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists.
Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game. George Mike
In England it is bad manners to be clever, to assert something confidently. It may be your own personal view that two and two make four, but you must not state it in a self-assured way, because this is a democratic country and others may be of a different opinion.
Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.
To be extravagant you need money. True. But you do not need your own money.
Remember that those five hundred words an average Englishman uses are far from being the whole vocabulary of the language. You may learn another five hundred and another five thousand and yet another fifty thousand and still you may come across a further fifty thousand you have never heard of before
Japan suffered terribly from the atomic bomb but never adopted a pose of moral superiority, implying: 'We would never have done it!' The Japanese know perfectly well they would have used it had they had it. They accept the idea that war is war; they give no quarter and accept none. Total war, they r
THE British are brave people. They can face anything, except reality.
I have often thought that the aim of port is to give you a good and durable hangover, so that during the next day you should be reminded of the splendid occasion the night before.
An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one. George M
A criminal may improve and become a decent member of society. A foreigner cannot improve. Once a foreigner, always a foreigner. There is no way out for him.
To have created a Welfare State was a great achievement; but we must go on to create a Welfare Planet.
Prices in Italy are only slightly lower than in France, which means that Italy is a very expensive country for everyone, natives, visitors and tourists.
Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot, (e) poison, and, generally speaking, (f) how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school.
Bargaining is a repulsive habit; compromise is one of the highest human virtues - the difference between the two being that the first is practised on the Continent, the latter in Great Britain.
Travel' is the name of a modern disease which became rampant in themid-fifties and is still spreading. The disease - its scientific name is travelitis furiosus - is carried by a germ called prosperity.
The English are always ready to admire anything so long as they can queue up.
On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.
It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not known, however, why this decision has not been carried out.
A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat.
The man who is not afraid of danger is not a hero, but a psychopath.
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles, - but never England.