In prayer we call ourselves 'worms of the dust', but it is only on a sort of tacit understanding that the remark shall not be taken at par.
Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
We must look for our own blame to find our own personality.
It takes a heap of sense to write good nonsense
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.
I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.
Now I can only pray that there may be a God -- and a heaven -- or something better.
Itâ€™s not the good that die young, itâ€™s the lucky.
A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.
A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt....
It's not as bad as it sounds.
The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race.
Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia.
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
There is in life only one moment and in eternity only one. It is so brief that it is represented by the fleeting of a luminous mote through the thin ray of sunlight - and it is visible but a fraction of a second. The moments that preceded it have been lived, are forgotten and are without value; the
At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on there clothes to keep them from being stolen.
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.
We regret the things we don't do more than the things we do.
The true and lasting genius of humour does not drag you thus to boxes labelled 'pathos,' 'humour,' and show you all the mechanism of the inimitable puppets that are going to perform. How I used to laugh at Simon Tapperwit, and the Wellers, and a host more! But I can't do it now somehow; and time, it
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all. Mark Twai
If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do. Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they ex
Learning to play two pairs is worth about as much as a college education, and about as costly.
It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races.
An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was dead all the time.
Life is short, break the rules.
The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. Mark T
Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.