The high IQ has become the American equivalent of the Legion of Honor, positive proof of a child's intellectual aristocracy.... It has become more important to be a smart kid than a good kid or even a healthy kid.
More and more Congressmen now stay in Washington all year-round because they can't stay at home under the laws they've passed.
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village
It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!
I'm gonna put all my money into taxes. They're sure to go up.
Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier. Sam Levenso
Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' children.
Times don't change. Men do.
If you owe fifty dollars you're a piker; if you owe fifty thousand dollars you're a businessman; if you owe fifty million dollars you're a tycoon; if you owe fifty billion dollars you're the government.
Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier. Sam Leve
Give your child a spanking once a day. If you don't know why, he does.
The Puritans came to America to worship in their way and to force everybody else to do the same thing.
Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.
You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.
Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn't poor.
Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going. Sam Leve
The reason God made man before woman was that he didn't want any suggestions.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.
It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'
The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent. Sam Leve
There was an old Woman who lived in a shoe She had so many children Her government subsidy check came to $4,892.
Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going. Sam Levenso
Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.
Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.
The beauty of America is that the average person always thinks she is above average.
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
It would be useless to bomb Washington. If you destroy one building, they already have two other buildings completely staffed with people doing exactly the same thing.