The most dangerous moment comes with victory.
If you want to get on in this world make many promises, but don't keep them.
If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing.
The word impossible is not in my dictionary.
Victory belongs to the most persevering.
I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance. Robin Will
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one?
When I was growing up they used to say, "Robin, drugs can kill you." Now that I'm 58 my doctor's telling me, "Robin, you need drugs to live." I realize now that my doctor is also my dealer...
We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
Don't associate yourself with toxic people. It's better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.
There are times when life's just real quiet and simple. I sometimes get tired of people saying, "Well, what are you really like?"
No man is an island; but some are peninsulas.
I prefer to be handcuffed at home. The idea of voice work to me is great fun, especially when it's a chance to do two different voices.
The entire world will be in nuclear war, and only the Swiss will be going, 'what's that noise?'
And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!
I had to stop drinking alcohol because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass.
When I went home from Juilliard, I couldn't find acting work.
I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, "My boy's got learnin'!"
Improv. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but when it does, it's like open-field running.
Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus.
People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.
When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.
I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.