Top 10 Funny Quotes

Hannah Arendt

Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse.

Dave Barry
The Japanese tend to be far more co-operative and docile and group-oriented. It would be easier to get the entire population of Tokyo to wear matching outfits than to get any two randomly selected Americans to agree on pizza toppings.
George Mikes

Japan suffered terribly from the atomic bomb but never adopted a pose of moral superiority, implying: 'We would never have done it!' The Japanese know perfectly well they would have used it had they had it. They accept the idea that war is war; they give no quarter and accept none. Total war, they recognize, knows no Queensberry Rules. If you develop a devastating new weapon during a total war, you use it; you do not put it into the War Museum.

Dave Barry
The central point of this final chapter is that - follow my logic carefully here - unless you die, you will continue to get older. (It's insights like this that separate the professional book author from the person with a real job.)
Jack Paar

Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book), but it impugned the marital status of my parents, something that enough critics were already doing.

Sam Levenson
The whole world is watching America, and America is watching TV.
Marlon Brando

Acting is an empty and usless profession.

Charles Barkley
The older I get, the faster I was.
Evan Esar

Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.

Jeremy Schoemaker
I think I am about 5 for 500 when it comes to successful ideas vs flops.