If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to see it through somebody else's eyes, because that man will always exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my account of the thing will be the most impressive.
Our Congresses consist of Christians. In their private life they are true to every obligation of honor; yet in every session they violate them all, and do it without shame. Because honor to party is above honor to themselves.
Prosperity is the best protector of principle. Mark T
Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, politics or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies. Broadly speaking, there are none but corn-pone opinions. And broadly speaking, Corn-Pone stands for Self-Approval. Self-approval is acquired mainly from the
It was the schoolboy who said, ""Faith is believing what you know ain't so.""
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty
There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.
There isn't anything you can't stand if you are only born and bred to it.
You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
Patriotism is usually the refuge of the scoundrel. He is the man who talks the loudest.
Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn
The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word.
Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time....
If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!
Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss SLOWLY. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.
One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.
It is wiser to find out than to suppose.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twai