A man is known by the company he keeps, but a woman is known by the company she keeps waiting.
The man who avoids debt doesn't have to worry about avoiding his creditors.
Life is a battle of wits, and many people have to fight it unarmed.
Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.
Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.
Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
The trouble with the world is that laziness is seldom curable and never fatal.
Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.
A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. Evan Esa
Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.
Some members of Congress ought to have their mouths taped instead of their speeches.
A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one.
Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.
Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
A compromise is a settlement by which each side gets what neither side wanted.
[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.
Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it.
Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a rich widow
You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game.
Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
Some people worry because they are in debt; others, because they can't even get in.
There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living.
A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment. Evan
Egocentricity: The vanity that makes you wonder what people are thinking about you when they are really wondering what you are thinking about them.
The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.