I will now claim - until dispossesed - that I was the first person in the world to apply the typewriter to literature. ... The early machine was full of caprices, full of defects- devilish ones. It had as many immoralities as the machine of today has virtues. After a year or two I found that it was
The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim,
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
A jackass has that kind of strength, and puts it to a useful purpose, and is valuable to the world because he is a jackass; but anobleman is not valuable because he is a jackass. It is a mixture that is always ineffectual, and should never have been attempted in the first place. And yet, once you st
All emotion is involuntary when genuine. Mark Twai
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. Mark Twai
there was no crime in unconscious plagiarism; that I committed it everyday, that he committed it everyday, that every man alive on earth who writes or speaks commits it every day and not merely once or twice but every time he open his mouthâ€¦ there is nothing of our own in it except some slight cha
That is their way, those plagues, those scientists - peg, peg, peg - dig, dig, dig - plod, plod, plod. I wish I could catch a cargo of them for my place; it would be an economy. Yes, for years, you see. They never give up. Patience, hope, faith, perseverance; it is the way of all the breed.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Warm summer sun, shine kindly here.
We are all beggars, each in his own way.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. Mark T
An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.
Sometimes people do get hurt
It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.
None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
The business aspects of the Fourth of July is not perfect as it stands. See what it costs us every year with loss of life, the crippling of thousands with its fireworks, and the burning down of property. It is not only sacred to patriotism and universal freedom, but to the surgeon, the undertaker, t
[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.
Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.
Civilizations proceed from the heart rather than from the head.
I told that girl, in the kindest, gentlest way, that I could not consent to deliver judgment upon any one's manuscript, because an individual's verdict was worthless. It might underrate a work of high merit and lose it to the world, or it might overrate a trashy production and so open the way for it
If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.
I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
What is it that strikes a spark of humor from a man? It is the effort to throw off, to fight back the burden of grief that is laid on each one of us. In youth we don't feel it, but as we grow to manhood we find the burden on our shoulders. Humor? It is nature's effort to harmonize conditions. The fu
As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one... Then I thought he was a genus.
Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.
Was it my conspicuousness that distressed me? Not at all. It was merely that I was not beautifully conspicuous but uglily conspicuous - it makes all the difference in the world.
Wagner has some great moments, but a lot of miserable half hours.