The salvation of the world depends on the men who will not take evil good-humouredly, and whose laughter destroys the fool instead of encouraging him.
If you do things merely because you think some other fool expects you to do them, and he expects you to do them because he thinks you expect him to expect you to do them, it will end in everybody doing what nobody wants to do, which is in my opinion a silly state of things.
Life levels all men. Death reveals the eminent.
There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it. George Bernard
Cruelty would be delicious if one could only find some sort of cruelty that didn't really hurt.
Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.
There are scores of thousands of human insects who are ready at a moment's notice to reveal the Will of God on every possible subject
My heart, my heart, be whole and free: Love is thine only enemy.
England and America are two countries separated by the same language. George Bernard Sha
The minorities are sometimes right. The majorities never.
Don't wait for the right opportunity: create it.
I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.
Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends.
How you ought properly to spell 'fish' in English: 'goti' .
Oh the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
I do not, like the Fundamentalists, believe that creation stopped six thousand years ago after a week of hard work. Creation is going on all the time.
Whenever an obviously well founded statement is made in England by a person specially well acquainted with the facts, that unlucky person is instantly and frantically contradicted by all the people who obviously know nothing about it.
The real Brahms is nothing more than a sentimental voluptuary
England and America are two countries separated by the same language.
Poverty blights whole cities; spreads horrible pestilences; strikes dead the very souls of all who come within sight, sound, or smell of it
That older and greater church to which I belong: the church where the oftener you laugh the better, because by laughter only can you destroy evil without malice
I aint such a mug as to put up my children to all I know myself.
Men trifle with their business and their politics but never trifle with their games. It brings truth home to them. They cannot pretend they have won when they have lost nor that they had a magnificent drive when they foozled it. The Englishman is at his best on the links and at his worst in the Cabi
An actress is not a lady; at least, when she is, she is not an actress.
A tranquil woman can go on sewing longer than an angry man can go on fuming.
As well consult a butcher on the value of vegetarianism as a doctor on the worth of vaccination.
A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.
Besides, do any of us understand what we are doing? If we did, would we ever do it?
Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.
Everyone can see that the people who hunt are the right people and the people who don't are the wrong ones.