I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.

-Mark Twain
Mark Twain

The Bible is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies. This Bible is built mainly out of fragments of older Bibles that had their day and crumbled to ruin. So it noticeably lacks in originality, necessarily. Its three or four most imposing and impressive events all happened in earlier Bibles; there are only two new things in it: hell, for one, and that singular heaven I have told you about.

Mark Twain
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. Mark T
Mark Twain

In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, one when he was a boy and one when he was a man

Mark Twain
The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.
Mark Twain

The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it; the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.

Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. Mark T
Mark Twain

I never did a thing in all my life, virtuous or otherwise that I didn't repent of within twenty-four hours.

Mark Twain
There are some books that refuse to be written. They stand their ground year after year and will not be persuaded. It isn't because the book is not there and worth being written -- it is only because the right form of the story does not present itself. There is only one right form for a story and if you fail to find that form the story will not tell itself.
Mark Twain

And what is a man without energy? Nothing - nothing at all.

Mark Twain
But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.