I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.

-Mark Twain
Mark Twain

Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.

Mark Twain
Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.
Mark Twain

Like most people, I often feel mean, and act accordingly.

Mark Twain
I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
Mark Twain

Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.

Mark Twain
Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures; figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.
Mark Twain

It takes a thousand men to invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a photograph, or a telephone or any other important thing-and the last man gets the credit and we forget the others. He added his little mite - that is all he did. These object lessons should teach us that ninety-nine parts of all things that proceed from the intellect are plagiarisms, pure and simple; and the lesson ought to make us modest. But nothing can do that.

Mark Twain
A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.
Mark Twain

What a man wants with religion in these breadless times, surpasses my comprehension.

Mark Twain
A man who is not born with the novel-writing gift has a troublesome time of it when he tries to build a novel. I know this from experience. He has no clear idea of his story; in fact he has no story. He merely has some people in his mind, and an incident or two, also a locality, and he trusts he can plunge those people into those incidents with interesting results.