He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail; the more you pay, the more is exacted.
Sometimes people do get hurt
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt.
The poetry is all in the anticipation, for there is none in reality.
I am technically "boss" of the family which I am carrying along-but I am grateful to know that it is only technically - that the real authority rests on the other side of the house. It is placed there by a beneficent Providence, who foresaw before I was born, or, if he did not, he has found it out s
A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.
There ain't nothing more to write about and I'm rotten glad of it, because if I'd know'd what trouble it was to make a book, I wouldn't a tackled it.
Synergy - the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously.
When one has tasted watermelons, one knows what angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because she repented.
All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Missionarying was a better thing in those days than it is in ours. All you had to do was to cure the head savageÂ´s sick daughter by a miracle- a miracle like the miracle of Lourdes in our day, for instance- and immediately that head savage was your convert, and filled to the eyes with a new convert
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.
We have the best government that money can buy.
The idea that a baby doesn't amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard full by itself. One baby can, furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities.
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. Mark T
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
Man never creates, he only recombines the lines and colors of his own existance.
Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.
He had only one vanity; he thought he could give advice better than any other person.
English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.
Baseball is the very symbol, the outward and visible expression of the drive and push and rush and struggle of the raging, tearing, booming nineteenth century.
To be human is to have one's little modicum of romance secreted away in one's composition. One never ceases to make a hero of one's self, (in private,) during life, but only alters the style of heroism from time to time as the drifting years belittle certain gods of his admiration and raise up other
If books are not good company, where shall I find it?