If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.

-Mark Twain
Mark Twain

I do not see how astronomers can help feeling exquisitely insignificant, for every new page of the Book of the Heavens they open reveals to them more and more that the world we are so proud of is to the universe of careening globes as is one mosquito to the winged and hoofed flocks and herds that darken the air and populate the plains and forests of all the earth. If you killed the mosquito would it be missed? Verily, What is Man, that he should be considered of God?

Mark Twain
It was on the 10th day of May - 1884 - that I confessed to age by mounting spectacles for the first time, and in the same hour I renewed my youth, to outward appearance, by mounting a bicycle for the first time. The spectacles stayed on.
Mark Twain

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.

Mark Twain
for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.
Mark Twain

Out of the public schools comes the greatness of the nation.

Mark Twain
To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. Mark Twai
Mark Twain

In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.

Mark Twain
If men bore children, there would only be one born in each family.
Mark Twain

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. Mark T

Mark Twain
The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad - but whiskey!