In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.

-Mark Twain
Mark Twain

As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.

Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
Mark Twain

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. It is said that leaders are readers. However if they read trashy magazines for the majority of their time and they never run with the information that they glean from resourceful books, then they may as well have not taken any time to read at all. It is easier to stay out than get out.

Mark Twain
Man is kind enough when he is not excited by religion
Mark Twain

Braveness is resistance to concern, mastery of panic - not absense of anxiety.

Mark Twain
It were not best that we should all think alike.
Mark Twain

We may not doubt that society in heaven consists mainly of undesirable persons.

Mark Twain
What is there that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a man's breast with pride above that which any other experience can bring to him? Discovery!
Mark Twain

Nearly all black and brown skins are beautiful, but a beautiful white skin is rare.

Mark Twain
Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would be surprised to find how far off they are, for they do not look it. When they first showed last night I tried to knock some down with a pole, but it didn't reach, which astonished me. Then I tried clods till I was all tired out, but I never got one. I did make some close shots, for I saw the black blot of the clod sail right into thee midst of the golden clusters forty or fifty times, just barely missing them, and if I could've held out a little longer, maybe I could've got one.