In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.

-Mark Twain
Mark Twain

Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what it was done for. I suppose it is, I dunno. If The Eiffel Tower were now to represent the world's age, the skin of paint on the pinnacle knob at its summit would represent man's share of that age; and anybody would perceive that the skin was what the tower was built for. I reckon they would, I dunno.

Mark Twain
We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
Mark Twain

The self taught man seldom knows anything accurately, and he does not know a tenth as much as he could have known if he had worked under teachers, and besides, he brags, and is the means of fooling other thoughtless people into going and doing as he himself has done.

Mark Twain
So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: "Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor's religion is." Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code.
Mark Twain

...majority Patriotism is the customary Patriotism.

Mark Twain
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
Mark Twain

I deal with temptation by yielding to it.

Mark Twain
I love to revel in philosophical matters-especially astronomy. I study astronomy more than any other foolishness there is. I am a perfect slave to it. I am at it all the time. I have got more smoked glass than clothes. I am as familiar with the stars as the comets are. I know all the facts and figures and have all the knowledge there is concerning them. I yelp astronomy like a sun-dog, and paw the constellations like Ursa Major.
Mark Twain

Honesty is often the best policy, but sometimes the appearance of it is worth six of it.

Mark Twain
I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.