It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.

-Mark Twain
Mark Twain

Some people give their problems swimming lessons instead of drowning them.

Mark Twain
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
Mark Twain

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

Mark Twain
What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must. Who is God, the one and only true? Money is God. Gold and Greenbacks and Stock-father, son, and ghosts of same, three persons in one; These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
Mark Twain

There have been innumerable Temporary Seekers after the Truth-have you ever heard of a permanent one?

Mark Twain
It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
Mark Twain

If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of star dust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. Properly the Jew ought hardly to be heard of, but he is heard of, has always been heard of. He is as prominent on the planet as any other people, and his commercial importance is extravagantly out of proportion to the smallness of his bulk. His contributions to the world's list of great names in literature, science, art, music, finance, medicine, and abstruse learning are also away out of proportion to the weakness of his numbers.

Mark Twain
God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.
Mark Twain

We can't always have the beautiful aspect of things. Let us make the most of our sights that are beautiful and let the others go

Mark Twain
It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.