It is yet another Civilized Power, with its banner of the Prince of Peace in one hand and its loot-basket and its butcher-knife in the other. Is there no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level?.
Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.
The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first.
When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.
That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at
The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.
You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,' but that ain't no matter. That book was made by a Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly.
Great enterprises usually promise vastly more than they perform.
As I have said before, I never had any large respect for good spelling. That is my feeling yet. Before the spelling-book came with its arbitrary forms, men unconsciously revealed shades of their characters, and also added enlightening shades of expression to what they wrote by their spelling, and so
Well - Patriotism has its laws. And it also is a perfectly definite one, there are not vaguenesses about it. It commands that the brother over the border shall be sharply watched and brought to book every time he does us a hurt or offends us with an insult.
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.
A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
There are no wild animals until man makes them so.
To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work. Mark Twai
When you got to the table you couldn't go right to eating, but you had to wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the victuals, though there warn't really anything the matter with them. That is, nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a barrel of odds and ends it
Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilt.
There is nothing but that frail breastwork of earth between the people and destruction.
I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.
The man who isn't a pessimist is a damned fool.
The two most important days if your life are the day you are born...and the day you find out why having multiple screens for your computer is so awesome because now reports and grants are like a billion times easier!
If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.
Whatever you say, say it with conviction
The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.
Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
Of all the unchristian beverages that ever passed my lips, Turkish coffee is the worst. The cup is small, it is smeared with grounds; the coffee is black, thick, unsavory of smell, and execrable in taste. The bottom of the cup has a muddy sediment in it half an inch deep. This goes down your throat,
He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.