Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. Mark Twai
The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.
I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.
Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
There is not a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
The late Bill Nye once said, 'I have been told that Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. Mark Twai
Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
God made all the animals in a single day; he could have swept them all away in the flood and re-created them in one day when they were again needed. Therefore it was an odd idea to save specimens of them for eleven months in the ark, whilst aware that eight persons could not feed or water them by an
No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.
None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
It is impossible that a genius - at least a literary genius - can ever be discovered by his intimates; they are so close to him that he is out of focus to them and they can't get at his proportions; they can't perceive that there is any considerable difference between his bulk and their own.
The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers and they who are millionaires.
Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick; but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.
Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one -- this is business.
We often feel sad in the presence of music without words; and often more than that in the presence of music without music.
Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.
I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and Iâ€™m not feeling so well myself.
When you catch an adjective, kill it - perhaps the best possible advice for budding writers.
Life ain't about how fast you run or how high you climb, It's all about how good you bounce. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
I am aware that I am very old now; but I am also aware that I have never been so young as I am now, in spirit, since I was fourteen and entertained Jim Wolf with the wasps. I am only able to perceive that I am old by a mental process; I am altogether unable to feel old in spirit. It is a pity, too,
Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.
Simplified spelling is all right, but, like chastity, you can carry it too far.