Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

-Mark Twain
Mark Twain

Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.

Mark Twain
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. Mark Twai
Mark Twain

Don't use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do.

Mark Twain
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
Mark Twain

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

Mark Twain
No one has ever seen a Republican mass meeting that was devoid of the perception of the ludicrous.
Mark Twain

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

Mark Twain
We were surprised how closely the cuckoo imitated the clock-and yet, of course, it could never have heard a clock.
Mark Twain

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.

Mark Twain
You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.