Perhaps it will be simplest to throw away the tags and generalize India with one all-comprehensive name, as the Land of Wonders.

-Mark Twain
Mark Twain

No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.

Mark Twain
If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.
Mark Twain

There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.

Mark Twain
Switzerland would me a mighty big place if it were ironed flat.
Mark Twain

Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

Mark Twain
We all know about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.
Mark Twain

I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time.

Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain

The exquisitely bad is as satisfying to the soul as the exquisitely good. Only the mediocre is unendurable.

Mark Twain
An injurious lie is an uncommendable thing; and so, also, and in the same degree, is an injurious truth a fact that is recognized by the law of libel .