Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book), but it impugned the marital status of my parents, something that enough critics were already doing.

-Jack Paar
Jack Paar

The only non-believer I encountered was Oscar Levant who wouldn't visit Disneyland because he said he had his own hallucinations.

Jack Paar
Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery. Jack
Jack Paar

One gets the impression that this is how Ernest Hemingway would have written had he gone to Vassar.

Jack Paar
Doing the show was like painting the George Washington Bridge. As soon as you finished one end, you started right in on the other.
Jack Paar

I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.

Jack Paar
Then there was the time in Hollywood when I sat down in a breakaway chair and it collapsed on me. I was nearly knocked out and might have been even more seriously hurt but my fall was broken by the smog.
Jack Paar

It was plain to see the Hollywood undertakers take care of everything. If you die you don't have to lift a finger.

Jack Paar
Looking back, my life seems like one long obstacle race, with me as the chief obstacle. Jack Paa
Jack Paar

Personally, I like those mystery shows. Ever since I was a kid I've been crazy about blood and detectives and murder. Maybe I was born with a silver knife in my back.

Jack Paar
Disneyland is such a big thing to Californians, I discovered that when you cross the border you have to raise your right hand and take an oath that you believe in Walt Disney.