The funniest things are the forbidden.

-Mark Twain
Mark Twain

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.

Mark Twain
In the small town of Hannibal, Missouri, when I was a boy, everybody was poor, but didn't know it; and everybody was comfortable and did know it.
Mark Twain

I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way, by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else....I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.

Mark Twain
The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
Mark Twain

You cannot have all chiefs; you gotta have Indians too.Perfect love cannot be without equality.A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing.We are all alike, on the inside.

Mark Twain
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
Mark Twain

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work. Mark T

Mark Twain
I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.
Mark Twain

No throne exists that has a right to exist, and no symbol of it, flying from any flagstaff, is righteously entitled to wear any device but the skull and crossbones of that kindred industry which differs from royalty only businesswise-merely as retail differs from wholesale.

Mark Twain
He had only one vanity; he thought he could give advice better than any other person.