Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.
Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' children.
Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.
The beauty of America is that the average person always thinks she is above average.
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
It would be useless to bomb Washington. If you destroy one building, they already have two other buildings completely staffed with people doing exactly the same thing.
The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent. Sam Leve
Times don't change. Men do.
The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.
Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.
Insanity is hereditary; you can get it from your children
You can't start at the top.
The Puritans came to America to worship in their way and to force everybody else to do the same thing.
We should not permit prayer to be taken out of the schools; that's the only way most of us got through.
When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.
Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going. Sam Levenso
You must learn from the mistakes of others.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
The high IQ has become the American equivalent of the Legion of Honor, positive proof of a child's intellectual aristocracy.... It has become more important to be a smart kid than a good kid or even a healthy kid.
If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.
Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going. Sam Levenson
More and more Congressmen now stay in Washington all year-round because they can't stay at home under the laws they've passed.
Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going. Sam Leve
A woman's place is in the home. Why should she go out and take away a workingman's pay instead of staying home and stealing out of his jacket like a good wife.
You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children. Sam Levenso
What we should have fought for was representation without taxation.
The whole world is watching America, and America is watching TV.
You don't have to be in "Who's Who" to know what's what.
There was an old Woman who lived in a shoe She had so many children Her government subsidy check came to $4,892.