Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first!" Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer
One of the brightest gems in the New England weather is the dazzling uncertainty of it.
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. Mark T
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
All human rules are more or less idiotic.
...majority Patriotism is the customary Patriotism.
It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.
Human Beings are the only animals that blush, or need to.
All religions issue bibles again Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.
A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors.
Many people have the reasoning facility, but no one uses it in religious matters.
Perhaps no poet is a conscious plagiarist, but there seems to be warrant for suspecting that there is no poet who is not at one time or another an unconscious one.
A jackass has that kind of strength, and puts it to a useful purpose, and is valuable to the world because he is a jackass; but anobleman is not valuable because he is a jackass. It is a mixture that is always ineffectual, and should never have been attempted in the first place. And yet, once you st
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know. Mark T
Sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get achance, because if you don't want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does, and a good deed ain't ever forgot. I never see papa when he didn't want the chicken hi
Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.
The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. It is said that leaders are readers. However if they read trashy magazines for the majority of their time and they never run with the information that they glean from resourceful books, then they may as well have
All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twai
The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain;
Comparison is the death of joy.
Loyalty is a word which has worked vast harm; for it has been made to trick men into being "loyal" to a thousand iniquities, whereas the true loyalty should have been to themselves - in which case there would have ensured a rebellion, and the throwing off of that deceptive yoke.
There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.
No man is straitly honest to any but himself and God.
If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.